"Sixty-six thousand miles-per-hour is approximately how fast the Earth travels through space. At that speed, you'd think things would at least be a little exciting. As we all know, however, all you really get is a blurred landscape and a lot of dead bugs on the windshield.
      "Sadly, the old girl doesn't know enough to pick a direction and keep on running. As with most of us, tedious routine maintains a demoralizing effect that keeps the Earth traveling in the same circles.
     "Take, for example, New Jersey; where Fate and Destiny are routinely harassed at the toll booths and abandon us in disgust. Here, we have only accidents."

from the diary of
EVIE PRYCE

    That's what EVIE thinks, anyway. But one night the cycle of "tedious routine" begins to disintegrate in Squareville, New Jersey. EVIE'S stuck in a humiliating summer job. Her dreams of escaping small town life in search of fame and fortune as a great artist in the glamorous cities of the world are seeming more and more unlikely.
      Not far away DON PEPE TRIDESTA, a.k.a. "JOEY THREE-HEADS", the shady circus boss with a mind worthy of three master criminals, hatches new money-making schemes in the hope of paying off the price on his head. He is unaware that the infamous "TOOLBOX TWINS", BIG SAL and LITTLE SAL, have already been hired to rub him out. In fact, they've just arrived in town...
      Meanwhile, MAYOR JONATHAN BELL continues his strange habit of residing in the two-bit room over Shakey's Saloon. Is he hiding from his estranged wife EMMA? What exactly is going on up there?
     Speaking of EMMA, who is the strange, shadowy figure hiding in her cellar?
     Of course, all of this is peanuts compared to the arrival this very same evening of RIDLEY VOZZ, ambassador from the distant planet TELEVANIA. He has the paperwork to prove his government's claim to the land now occupied by Squareville -- as of five thousand years ago! He's been sent to earth on a mysterious mission to transport the mile-square chunk of dirt to his planet. But the townsfolk aren't budging, and everyone becomes stranded together when RIDLEY uses his spaceship's energies to lift Squareville away with him!
      Sound like a bad situation? Not as bad as what befalls Squareville when EVIE accidentally unleashes a burst of the ship's extraterrestrial energies, causing garden vegetables to grow to the size of buidings, insects to expand to schoolbus proportions, and otherwise inanimate objects -- like EVIE'S art project -- to come to life. As a result, the ship and the space-island of Squareville are out of even RIDLEY'S control.

       Who among Squareville's strange assortment of characters holds the key to their survival, and can they all stop arguing long enough to act on it?